Bags of milk, baby!

So an exciting (well, fairly - for the planet anyhoo) was made by me in Sainsbury's this week - Bags of Milk. You buy a special jug that you then put the bags in. It saves on packaging (and is also easier to freeze) which is better, not only for the environment, but also for my small abode where recyling space is at a premium! At the minute I have washed the jug, read the instructions and the bags are in the freezer awaiting their debut.

White Cargo (Windsor Selection)

I hae just finished reading the above book. It only took me 2 days! Felicity Kendal has always been one of my favourite actresses and when I lived back in Wythall I remember hearing that she'd lived, at some point, in Olton (about 3 stops on by train!). There were a few 'squee' moments when she spoke about Solihull but these were not the most happy times for her so the 'squee' was somewhat tempered. An absolutely fantastic and fascinating account of her life - especially her descriptions and recollections of growing up 'on the road' in India. I would recommend this book to anyone - even if they've never seen her perform. She is a great writer and if she ever does any more I'll be the first in the queue :) I'm now onto the Middlemarch-esque (If Middlemarch were moved to France) Madame Bovary.

Last night wasthe first night of B.L.O.G's "Songs from Four Shows", it went great! I managed not to fall over (as I so gracefully did in the tech) and the guys didn't tread on my feet so all was succesful in our USR corner ;) It's been so much fun getting back into singing, moving and working with a big ensemble onstage, and they're a very welcoming bunch of people, so all in all it's been a fantastic experience. Roll on tonight and tomorrow!!

BLOG away

Just back from my first (albeit charity) performance wih BLOG. It was definitely a slightly bizaree and yet cool experience.

Bizarre because I helped out by supplying some kit (and 2 students!) to help out with the microphone situation and so 2 worlds colded for a bit there. Still, L and J were great and very professional especially when diplomacy was called for and all went well in the end. Hopefully trying to sort something out for the next charity performance so will see how that goes. A bit of logitics re: cable to sort out but would be great experience for the girls so should be able to sort it.

It's so good to spend some time with people outside of school, interesting finding out what they all do and where they've all come from. This evening found out about a government 'procurer' and a HR person for the MOD. I just think it's it's cool what different people end up doing and yet can have the same love of theatre :) It's also good to be spending time in conversation with adults! ( not that my techies aren't fabulous coversationlists but, you know....)

Anyhoo, I feel a Large glass of red and no dinner is not exactly the best combination to be continuing so shall desist....goodnight.

the last sleep.... hopefully

For the final time I am tapping out my midnight ponderings and surfing the web in my spacious Gatehouse flat. For tomorrow some folks are coming to help me shift my bed and coffee table (yes, the coffee table is vital...) up to the new place.

I'll still have quite a bit of stuff hanging around in the living room (especially seen as I won't have a wardrobe or chest of drawers until Thursday!) but I shall be able to chill and sleep in the same place, which'll be a novelty! Although for full internet access I'm still gong to have to  haul over here as it's not been sorted at the new place yet *grrr*.

Highly excited about the trip to Cov for Jo's birthday meal - and some wandering around IKEA, especially as it's not my money I'm spending. Well, it is, but I'll get it back...you know what I mean. Still, handing our own card over isn't quite as freeing as having someone else's, alack,  never mind.

I have decided that from now on when I hear a word that I do not know the exact meaning of a word (i.e. I can probably figure it out and blag my intelligence quite nicely!?!) I am going to look it up and attempt to use in a scentence. This is mostly because I've found my big dictionary since moving and I feel bad that it sits and I do not look beneath it's covers.

New word for the week:

rectitude - moral uprightness

(source - Cranford)

and breathe...

wOOt!!

All exam performances and teaching are done for this term - huzzah!! Just the Y9's to hand their stuff in on Monday and a whole school event on Thursday and I'm done. It's a wonderful feeling that the stress of deadlines has evaporated - if only temporarily.

Rehearsals for the B.L.O.G show are going well, and are still fun so good times so far! Wore my 'show shoes' for the first time in the Thursday rehearsals. First of all I really should have thought through wearing sparkly robin patterned socks that morning, but mainly I could feel the pain on the balls of my feet where it damages the soft tissue and my feet swell up quite impressively. This a lovely thing discovered after getting back form the UK2 training for Peru and taking my boot off - 10mins later I couldn't put my foot on the floor and had to go to A&E!  No such pain or swelling after I took these shoes of though so I'm going to assume without the socks on it'll be fine.

This evening is the leaving do for one of the Senior Housemistresses/Drama Teacher. Going to be a good evening - if a little odd as there will be lots of ex students there.

Ooops, which reminds me - I said I'd make some brownies....and I've to make Lasagne before that...back to the bedsit it is then. Nope, still not completely moved!

First meal

Have just cooked my first meal in the new flat - good fun trying to stop the steam and small smoke reaching the fire alarm, but the roast lamb, carrots and parsnip went very well :) Got about half my stuff over there now and is starting to feel more homely - well, the living room anyway!

Just about on top of everything at work at them. Lots of exam performances coming up in the next 3 weeks, a little hairy but hopefully all will work - lots of painting and sewing to do, good times:)

Meeting with the boss tomorrow so a little pensive about that, still, lots of stuff about handing things over to God have been talked about this week, so I'm just going to try my best to do that and see what occurs.

Sometimes I could kick myself

I've just read on someone else's facebook page that the deadline for Lee Abbey Leadership forms was Monday - nuts. I've agreed to head up the AV team again (despite getting back form Oz 2 days before - so what's new! So I guess I really should have got that in. Problem being I've lost my CRB form for LA and what with 'the move' I've got no chance of finding it (which means applying again!).

Also I've got a horrible feeling that BLOG rehearse over the summer and missing 4 weeks would be an issue but missing 6 would probably mean I couldn't do the show. Although, at the minute, they don't seem to have a definite date, and unless it falls before or IN the october half term I'm not going to be able to do it anyway! So frustrating.

Been to BLOG rehearsal tonight. Managed to screw up standing in a diagonal line, twice - but then we had just swapped positions and before that I was managing fine, felt bad because the choreographer's lovely and had already asked three times! Never mind, practise makes perfect and this is all coming back to me very slowly.
I think that doing Tartuffe and then gig night when I was ill and having to project may also have done something unpleasant to the old vocal chords. I don't seem to be able to hold certain notes as clearly or successfully as I could before then. For a while I though it was because I was still recovering for the cold (took ages!) but now I'm not so sure :( I was never going to be a professional but would be gutted if my voice is kaput. Still, we shall endeavour.

Today a Fridge/Freezer was delivered to the bedsit when I happened to be in. It will fit in the kitchen (although I may lose the use of a cupboard door!) but I need to take about 2cm of a small ledge - job for the weekend!

Have boxes, will travel

So after the meeting I still have to move. I do now have until the end of Easter which'll make it easier - still not psyched about having to pack and shift everything though. Still, it was a good chat and did clear the air somewhat so a good point at least!

Had quite a successful and organised day - sorting out production schedules for 5 individuals and 1 group who all have shows within 2 weeks of each other. Worked so well for them I may employ it for myself on the whole moving and sorting Australia out thing!

Regarding the going back to work.

Well, last evening of a VERY chilled half term, to be spent in the traditional Sunday evening way of hot milk and Lark Rise to Candleford (boy, I do lead an action packed life!) and contemplating tomorrow.

Have had a lot of time to think and assess this week, along with managing to put most work stuff to one side and chillaxing, so am feeling positive and calm about heading back into work tomorrow.

I have another meeting with TPTB in the afternoon, feeling nervous, but definitely less like I'm going to cry just from walking in there! I have everything pretty level in my head and I'm going to go with the assumption that there's some reason that I don't need to know about, they're the boss and I should trust their judgement. Have decided that if I have to move then I shall, with no more fuss or bother. Doesn't seem to be worth getting stressed over any more as it really is out of my hands and, on the plus side, I would have some space to myself. This week has been very quiet without others here - however it was nice when they came back, and today has just proved that they are very different to the last lot and quite enjoyable to live with.

However I did go and collect a load of boxes yesterday in preparation so we shall see what occurs.

Time at the spa was so wonderful - amazing steam room. 4 glass rooms inside the larger one - each with a different fragrance. I spent time in the frankinscence one and the lavender one- bliss :)

Right, LRTC has finished downloading and I am suitably sleepy, bring on tomorrow!

Feeling slightly less....

Wednesday of half term.

The whole accommodation thing didn't really get an better. I pretty much don't have a choice and when the email came through at 2:15pm on Friday asking if I could move this week or soon after my brain fully realised it's exhaustion and I ended up in the medical centre hyper-ventilating! Boy, I felt professional.

In the end I wrote a fairly objective (had Ben check it) email back explaining that I didn't think it would help, I didn't really understand then need or urgency and would it be possible to wait 'til Easter. Got one back at 4:45 saying that they though it was a good idea, it should happen but I could actually take my week off ad to think about it after the holiday. Then got another one about 30mins later saying we should discuss it when school starts back. Not entirely sure what's going to happen now!

Having said that, I've had some time to think, and it's been quite pleasant being on my own here without the GAPS and I appreciate that there will be tensions etc in the future. I guess I just don't like people making decisions for me without any consultation, especially when I'm exhausted and in desperate need of some chill time - and when has moving house ever been NOT stressful?

Anyhoo, I've been distracting myself quite well. Went up to Cov for a pancake party and helped move trees and bushes. Went to London to be industrilous on Monday night. Came away thinking that I should be persisterence although it may not get me anywhere (If you watch a certain programme on Sunday evenings..that'll make sense to you!). And had a fun night at BLOG rehearsal. We've started moving as opposed to just learning the music - was a great chance to learn everyone's names!

In a bit I'm heading into town to take advantage of a walking tour and then I'm finally going to get round to using my Twilight package at the Spa - never was it more needed!

..and so it goes on.

So, that bleugh feeling?...still here.

In fact in the last few days it's got distinctly worse. News from a friend that span my mind and made me think about a few things (not to mention making me feel my 29 years) and then, today, a conversation with work about my accommodation situation.

!WARNING! small rant follows.....

The conversation was actually, on the surface, quite caring and supportive. My only problem is, I'm not entirely sure that most of it was true. I'd rather they'd have been honest and said "the GAPS complained to the GAP representative, who is not happy about 2 of them sharing a room, and therefore feels we cannot have 4 GAPS in future, so you have to move" than "I'm worried about how you're doing and I think it would be better if you moved". In fact, the conversation started with the fact that the decision's been made already..."so here's my reasoning".

I tried to think while I was in there and make my points about why I don't think it'll make a blind bit of difference and, actually, will probably make it worse (as I usually don't think about it until I get home!) but it seems that, even though 3 months ago they agreed with me on those exact same points, I don't have a choice.

It would be nice to have my own space, to not have to clear up after 4 teenagers. On the other hand, at least here I get to walk outside to go home, I have 2 big rooms, I have an amazing view and, most importantly, some outside space where I can sit, BBQ and generally do my own thing.

But, to be honest, my real problem is the fact that they said all this stuff, and yet somehow I feel like it wasn't really meant. I mean, if you've been worried enough to make this decision about somebody for 8 months, you wouldn't wait that long to tell them - would you? And why get them to come to you with a formal email, it would have been distinctly less intimidating and more supportive to come to me.

I really hope all of the things said were genuine, because if they weren't, it basically comes down to being manipulated because they know how to push my buttons, and coming from that person in particular, that would really hurt.

Also, I was promised these rooms would be mine as long as I needed them (I was planning in moving out at the end of the year anyway) and when the 4th GAP moved over, it was on the understanding that she was fine with sharing a room and if it didn't work out she could move back, or, in fact, have the flat they want to move me to.

Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but I know that the GAPS did tell the representative about the situation and they have been talking about the fact that it's 'ridiculous' and 'not fair'. So we'll see.

I get to look at the flat in the next few days, but I've seen it before and it's not exactly inspiring. I guess the truth will come depending on if I want to move or not. But, to be honest, the thought of packing up and moving all my stuff AGAIN and then AGAIN within a year is not exactly filling me with joy.

It'll be very interesting to see how the GAPS get on with no one around when they don't know how to work something, with having to pay for their own phone line and internet and all the other bits like recycling, heating, bins etc. There's always been someone other than just GAPS living here (hence the phone line and internet thing) who can show them the ropes and explain things to them (rather important with a gas hob) but something will be figured out I'm sure.

Well, I think that's everything down and out of my head now. I could really do with a hug but there's no one round here to do that so I'm going to get up early and go to the gym tomorrow instead!

Oh, and I was granted my eVisa for Australia......yey :)