Tips on line learning abound

Just been at rehearsal for TMOW. Going OK - have some pics I'll put up later. Been meaning to blog for a while but never seemed to get round to it. It almost felt as if I had to much to write, but no way of expressing it. But finally have sat down to have a go.

On Friday me, mum, Vix, U. David and Cousin Brian, cleared the rest of the stuff out of my Nanna's house and moved it to David's new place.

It was wierd, I hadn't been back to the place since the funeral 2 years ago, I've had the opportunity but always made an excuse not to go. However, this was my final chance to see the house so I went to help and have a final look round.

I don't remember when we moved house to come to Wythall, I was only 2 at the time, so I've no real experience of saying goodbye to somewhere that's been so much a part of my life. I took photo's and did mean to put them on here, but for a reason I've yet to determine I've decided not to.

I drove there. I don't think I'd actually EVER driven there, so I enjoyed it and tried to remember it. It's so familiar to me, the railway bridges, the Jaguar factory, the church where you turn right, there was something comforting about it all being where it shoud be. As if as long as I knew my way by those landmarks, I'll always be able to find the house.

Walking round the house was odd, as most of the furniture and all the ornaments etc had gone. The rooms looked smaller. Nanna and Grandad had the biggest cosiest bed I know in their room - I remember we had to jump up to it it was so high. We used to stay for a weekend whenever our birthday was, and get taken out for the day, watch whatever videos we wanted and cook cakes, Nanna taught us all to make the best sponge cake :) At night we slept in the spare room - it was a double bed, with a heavy duvet that always smelled fresh - and there was an electric blanket so it was nice and snuggly, I always felt so safe in that bed. When we got up in the morning we'd go into their bedroom and have tea. The kettle was boiled in the bedroom and all the cups and things were on a tray, kept on the floor or the pink pouffy ottoman. Grandad always used to make it really sweet!

I remembered Christmases in the living room, watching Mary Poppins, playing with the miniature kitchen set or the cars that used to belong to Uncle John and David. The Christmas tree would stand on a table in the corner, always with the same decorations - one of them was a chocoleate bear circa 1970! We found that bear in a box that we obtained from Nanna's - it had melted on the journey over.

The kitchen is long with counters on both sides. Right at the end on the left is a cupboard larder. It always had a smell - a sort of mix of bread and cakes - I opened the door to see if it remained....it was still there, engrained into the wood shelves and paper lining. There are photo's of me being bathed in the sink when I was little - my main memories of that kitchen are
*watching Vix take her first steps and then spend the rest of the day running from one end of the kitchen to the other
*cooking cakes with my Nan - the oven had a glass door so you could sit and watch the wonder of your very own cake baking
*serving people tea and coffee at both my Grandad and Nanna's funerals.

I went round ever room and tried to remember something from each one, so that I'll always have a reference of that house. Just before I left we had one last photo taken by the hedge outside. Nanna always used to take our picture there, there's probably one from every year of mine, Jo's and Vix's lives. She was a great one for photographs - especially of family.

I'm glad I went, wierd as it was it was a good cathartic release to go once more, and also to visit the graves in the churchyard at the end of the road.

*The sketch on Sunday went well, one line forgotten but not bad. We actually learned the whole thing and practised quite a lot. I feel as if I could do more Drama in church now, as long as people are willing to do it with me. It was good to have Brett, as he made me practise more than I would have bothered - which mad the whole thing more polished (not that it was brilliant by any stretch of the imagination!) But it got the point across so it did its job:)

*It was my first night back at work on Saturday - I was on the door, so it was nice to be eased in gently. Feet were still aching at the end of it, but only as much as they would have been before so that's good. Christine was there, haven't really seen her since we finished guides - about 9 years ago, we had a little reminisce and will probably go out later in the week.
Bit nervous about it really, feel like totally different people. When I meet old friends from primary school, I sometimes feel as if I've done so much, seen so much and been places, that I feel almost on a different level to them. Most of them have stayed in Wythall (or the general South Birmingham area) and got a job setteled down etc and haven't changed too much from when we were younger. They have changed (obv!) but I always get this feeling of forboding, like I'm going to sound like I'm bragging or something, either that or they'll feel sorry for me, 'cos I'm still living at home and I don't have a boyfriend.
I shouldn't pre-judge people like that, I know. But I didn't have great relationships with anyone at primary school really. I was bullied a hell of a lot, never fitted in, never felt like I had the social skills to deal with kids my own age. I guess I'm worried they'll think I'm like I was then, which I am in a way, but I have chilled out a lot.

Anyhoo, this blog is INCREDIBLY long and I have to sort out all my visa stuff tommorow - the photo's gonna be the hardest thing! Night